Oct 10, 2007

Sad...

This morning on the subway I was disconnected as usual, standing in the middle of the train car, propping myself up with one hand against the rail, watching "Planet Earth" on my video iPod with the other, when out of nowhere two people in the corner of the car started slugging each other. 30 year old man, 15 year old girl. Didn't see who started it. Did she bump him on her way out of the car? Did he overreact to an inadvertent collision on a crowded train? Was one or both of them simply psychotic? Not quite sure, but the end result was the girl swinging wildly at the man, and the man grabbing the girl by the pony tail and violently holding her at bay. As if this wasn't enough, here's what's sad:
  1. Several well-dressed, able-bodied men close to the brawl simply watched it happen. No matter who started it, the 15 year old girl should be given the benefit of the doubt and receive intervention from male passer-by's, right? Chivalry and what not?
  2. Despite my disgust at the situation and my co-commuters' lack of response, I found myself honestly unsure of what I would have done had I been close enough to the action to intervene. Would I have the guts? Not sure.
  3. At the next stop nearly everyone cleared out of the car, including the fighting strangers. A policeman poked his head in the car, obviously tipped off by an exiting passenger, and asked "does someone need the police?" Those of us that remained on the car blurted out "that guy that just got off attacked a woman!" to which a man next to me (obviously devoid of any sense of decency, humanity, honor, or common sense) complained aloud "great! Now they're going to stop the train!" Disgusting.

The population density of New York City is approximately 25,400 people per square mile. The population density of, oh, let's pick at random... Spokane, Washington... is approximately 3,300 per square mile. This means I have a lot more human interaction during the day. In times past I've lauded the pluses of this environment. Today, I've clearly seen the minuses.

7 comments:

k. said...

So sad.

Tara Edwards said...

You hear about things like this more and more where people don't help other people who are in need. It's like we have lost the sense of community that used to be common.

Jan said...

I have had only two instances here in Spokane where I felt the need to intervene... And I did. Both involved abusive mothers and innocent children. I need space - I think we all do. I don't know what I personally would do in New York quite honestly, I might suffocate. On the other hand, I would probably adapt....and as I did so, I wonder what it would mean, as my altered sense of responsibility might become more jaded. Did she even know this man? Was he or she on drugs? Was one of them homeless? Had one had a horrific day? Put people with difficulties in a pressure cooker situation, and I can see how they might just explode. So very sad. So very sad.

Elizabeth said...

It reminds me of the fight I got in with the mother at the play ground.. I told her what happened in public made it my business and that doesn't mean that I am going to intervene on little things but if someone is hurting my son a friend a woman or anyone else while I may not step in physically I would say something or ask someone near who could stop it to try. I hate confrontation and I hate that men in the world don't care like they used to. sometimes I come out of stores with bags full hudson in one arm and no one opens the door other times guys have rushed to the door to help so its nice to know there is still a chance. Hudson is going to be a knight in shining armor and I will make sure he is a gentleman.. okay sorry that was long I guess I had a lot to say.. sorry you had to see that hope it doesn't happen again.

Kera said...

This is just sad. I want to hear the stories of men, jumping up and taking control of the situation.
When I was riding the shuttle to work, there were always women standing while men would sit and not offer their seat. Maybe for a man it doesn't seem "FAIR" to always offer your seat, but my boys will get a good licken if they aren't true gentlemen to ladies, I don't care what generation we are living in!!!
I hope this made sense I am typing fast and upset.

k. said...

I love chivalry. I hope it never truly dies.

I traveled with a guy I work with for 2 days last week. He carried my bag EVERYWHERE we went. Not because I wasn't capable- Just because. It was nice. He was a gentleman. They are hard to find these days.

Unknown said...

I've experienced that living around So many people makes you have to quickly define who YOU are. You HAVE to.. or you just get lost. And then that independence.. even selfishness (?) helps you slowly loose focus of HUMANITY. (You know.. shove your wait through the doors of the train, etc.) It seems like being surrounded by people/diversity/life would allow you to better appreciate and respect it. I think it can easily have the opposite affect.

This is one thing that I hope I always abide by: regardless of the city I'm traveling, the culture I'm living, the awkwardness of the situation I'm watching, I hope that I always choose to protect. I always feel compassion. I disregard embarrasment (and even borderline inappropriateness), but just ACT. Act according to what my soul tells me is right.