Our friends in the legislative branch of government have once again succeeded in bringing to the forefront of cultural awareness one of the burning questions of our time. I refer to the following article, Idaho senator fined for lewd behavior at Minneapolis airport. To summarize:...U.S. Sen. Larry Craig, an Idaho Republican, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in Minnesota this month after being arrested by a plainclothes police officer investigating complaints of lewd conduct in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport…Sgt. Dave Karsnia reported that at “at 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot ... The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area” … Craig spokesman said the incident is a "he said/he said misunderstanding.” Craig denied any lewd intentions and told police he has a "wide stance" in the bathroom and reached down to pick up a piece of paper from the floor...
This should serve as a gut check for each of us. Are you also a practitioner of the wide stance, understandably mistakable for homoerotic innuendo?
Or perhaps worse, the stand and wipe? (Ladies, you’re excused – I have been told that squatting is a female must in substandard seat conditions. Men – if this is part of your repertoire, it’s time for a course correction. The last thing any guy wants is someone standing in the stall next to him, pants around the ankles. This means you, Dustin!)
Or maybe you’re like me, a firm believer in the tried and true Beyonce maneuver (lean “to the left, to the left!”)?
Or maybe you’re like me, a firm believer in the tried and true Beyonce maneuver (lean “to the left, to the left!”)? 
We can clearly see Mr. Blair's technique shining through. Let’s hear your thoughts!
4 comments:
I just dont' even know what to say... Except that you really are funny. :)
You should have your own column in the New York Times! Seriously. I am sickened by this whole thing - The man seems cruicified by mistakes which may or may not really shed true light on this particular incident. He made mistakes.....shouldn't have, for sure...a number of them. BUT. Let's not hang him before the real story is told. I have such a hard time believing someone of his stature would knowingly do something so brazen. However it looks like poo and smells like poo so we're surely likely to jump to a conclusion based on his past performance. I understand there are some other shadows lurking in his closet. Sad. We do live in the most strange of times though, don't we?
This concerns me.
The bathroom school of etiquette that I subscribe to demands that if I am occupying a stall and someone walks into the bathroom, I make my presence known by coughing, clearing my throat, or my favorite tapping my foot to spare the other person from occupying the stall next to me, and the subsequent awkward attempts at silent efficiency. I think I need to find a new "occupied" signal.
You are funny too, Ben! :) Maybe you and Mike can start a blog. Then you two can talk about pooing & bathrooms all day long!
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