My dad sent out this email to our family today, in response to Mike's blog post entitled The Importance of Stance Selection. I think my dad is pretty hilarious.
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I travel a lot. I pass through many airports (including the one in Minneapolis). I don’t like using airplane restrooms- they’re cramped and uncomfortable, and kind of yicky.
Because I try to travel with just carry on, I often go into a public restroom in airports. I use the handicapped stall, whether I’m “one”ing it or “two”ing it. I don’t like leaving my luggage in the traffic pattern because I’m paranoid about someone walking off with it while I’m distracted by more pressing concerns. So I take it into the stall with me, and use the larger stall marked “Handicap Accessible” because I can bring my luggage with me and not worry about its security.
But now I’m worried about my own security. I’m thinking twice about using a stall, because I have what might be construed by the Minneapolis Police Department as an unusual and criminally wide “stance”. I am going public with this here and now because I don’t want it on the breaking news at 11. I just feel more comfortable with a wide “stance”.
Even though when I’m riding my motorcycle I tend to hug the gas tank with my thighs, when I get in a bathroom I go all loose. I have very little control over my muscles. My legs go wide, my feet edge toward no-man’s land and the whole time I have no idea who is lurking in the next stall with a measuring tape. I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about the times I’ve unconsciously and inadvertently let my foot edge toward the side of the stall. How close I came to a confrontation with the anti-wide stance vice squad!
Don’t get me wrong. I know that our police are there to protect andto serve. Why, there are probably lots of people out there with their knees at 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock with ulterior motives. And the foot tapping that goes on is enough to make anyone go crazy. Sometimes I just can’t get the tapping out of my mind!
In my own case, however, tapping my foot is a whole different story. I listen to an Ipod. Sometimes I have (but will probably never again) tapped my foot as I listen to the music. I never realized just how close I was to the destruction of my character and reputation.
It sounds to me like the case against Senator Craig is open and shut. He was in the stall, going to the bathroom. He did have a wide stance.
And he did tap his feet. Who could hope for more damning evidence than that. I hope he burns in hell for his actions.
Because I try to travel with just carry on, I often go into a public restroom in airports. I use the handicapped stall, whether I’m “one”ing it or “two”ing it. I don’t like leaving my luggage in the traffic pattern because I’m paranoid about someone walking off with it while I’m distracted by more pressing concerns. So I take it into the stall with me, and use the larger stall marked “Handicap Accessible” because I can bring my luggage with me and not worry about its security.
But now I’m worried about my own security. I’m thinking twice about using a stall, because I have what might be construed by the Minneapolis Police Department as an unusual and criminally wide “stance”. I am going public with this here and now because I don’t want it on the breaking news at 11. I just feel more comfortable with a wide “stance”.
Even though when I’m riding my motorcycle I tend to hug the gas tank with my thighs, when I get in a bathroom I go all loose. I have very little control over my muscles. My legs go wide, my feet edge toward no-man’s land and the whole time I have no idea who is lurking in the next stall with a measuring tape. I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about the times I’ve unconsciously and inadvertently let my foot edge toward the side of the stall. How close I came to a confrontation with the anti-wide stance vice squad!
Don’t get me wrong. I know that our police are there to protect andto serve. Why, there are probably lots of people out there with their knees at 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock with ulterior motives. And the foot tapping that goes on is enough to make anyone go crazy. Sometimes I just can’t get the tapping out of my mind!
In my own case, however, tapping my foot is a whole different story. I listen to an Ipod. Sometimes I have (but will probably never again) tapped my foot as I listen to the music. I never realized just how close I was to the destruction of my character and reputation.
It sounds to me like the case against Senator Craig is open and shut. He was in the stall, going to the bathroom. He did have a wide stance.
And he did tap his feet. Who could hope for more damning evidence than that. I hope he burns in hell for his actions.
2 comments:
Your dad is hilarious... I love his sense of humor! Great response to Mike's "wide stance" post! :)
Being from Idaho this whole thing is quite embarrassing. LA is having a hay day making fun of the Senator from Idaho.
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