"I could NEVER live in New York City..."

...The typical refrain of someone born, raised, and trained to love suburban / rural life. We had dinner tonight with some friends (Utah transplants) that swear by this mantra. They've begrudgingly moved to New York for professional and educational reasons, and in an attempt to keep one foot in what they perceive to be "normal life" (drive a Honda Civic, shop at Wal-Mart, have a dog, sit on a front porch with a pot belly and a wife-beater, insert your stereotype of choice), they've instead chosen to live on the opposite shore of the Hudson River in Jersey City.

When challenged about how I could deal with "so many people" and the "constant noise," I have to say, I had no idea what this person was talking about. I responded that these things aren’t the hurdle of city life, but rather the attraction. Before moving here, I never envisioned living in the city, but now that I'm here, I feel plugged in to humanity in a way that I've never before experienced. There’s a constant pulse coursing through every-day existence.

After walking away from dinner, I was quickly reminded of just how close to humanity I really am. On the way to the subway, I saw a gentleman standing at a phone booth exactly like this one, using it as a urinal. I suppose the rationale in doing so was that the booth shielded his package from view on both sides, making it kosher to drain the snake with gusto. Out of sight? Anything goes! I saw the same reasoning used in Bolivia – men would grab their members in the middle of the street using a reverse “three-finger shield” (shown below) and let nature take its course. As long as no flesh was directly in view, no foul.

The fun was just beginning! As we descended down the subway steps, we were greeted by a massive pile of neon orange, extra chunky vomit.

(I considered posting an actual photo, but better judgment prevailed. But hey, if you’re curious, just throw the word “vomit” in a Google Images search. Oh, the things you’ll see…)

I’m not sure where this leaves me in my “I love New York” rant. To each his own, but for me, I’ll take my public urination and regurgitation over staid suburbia any day!