Gold.

I'm wearing gold shoes today, & thinking about my Grandma just about each & every step.

.

She has been on my mind quite a bit recently. I miss her. It's sort of strange, when you don't really expect to miss someone, & then you realize that you really do.

.

She always sent a Halloween card. She never, ever missed my birthday & a card always arrived a few weeks prior (she was always the first). She always drew a simple caricature of herself at the bottom- my Grandma, with curly hair & a big smile. I missed getting that card this year. I missed the phone call from her that I would always surely get, & I miss her voicemails that without fail said I'm sure you're doing something fabulous with Michael in the city, so just call when you're free. No rush. She loved that I lived in New York, & I loved that she loved that.

.

Her birthday was November 5th. I still have it in my Outlook calendar & when the reminder popped up the day before, I was kind of melancholy. I wanted to call her last Sunday afternoon, just to say hi. I was sad that I couldn't.

.

But today, I'm wearing these shoes that are gold & sort of sparkly, & I'm just thinking that she would really have just loved them. I think she would have said something like Oh Kathryn, those are just marvelous. She loved the word marvelous, saying it sort of like maaahvalous.