Sep 26, 2010

Day 2: Q's first Friday, the wonder of multi-purpose peas & the story of my crazy roommate.

Today is Quinn's due date. September 26th. It would have been a good day to be born, but so was the 16th. Happy 10th day of life, Q.

Today, we said goodbye to my mom. She was here for the past 8 days, & was truly saintly. I'm sure she won't even tell all of her friends about how one night after my milk came in, she massaged my boobs while I had a pack of peas on each, with another resting comfortably down my pants. At 3am. That was maybe one of my lower points of the week, but that was the reality. I really did love my mother in that moment.

(How come no one tells you how much that hurts, by the way? The milk-coming-in part? Friends, none of you mentioned this to me! I'll add it to the list of things I wish I'd known...)

Anyway.

I'm still working through photos...

Day 2.

Technically, it didn't really have a fantastic beginning.

Quinn was born at 10:37pm on Thursday evening. After an hour or so spent in my labor & delivery room, I finally made it to my room where I'd spend the next two days recovering. New York City hospitals are much like New York City apartments. There is a high demand & a low supply of available space. That being said, shared recovery rooms are the norm, unless you'd like to pay $850 a night for a private room, & even then - they're available on a first come, first serve basis.

When I was wheeled across the floor & into the recovery wing, I made one request at the front desk - Please, can I get the window seat?! The bed next to the window. I wanted it. I'd been stressing out about getting it, because the bed next to the door? Bad light. Really bad light. Smaller space. Lots of foot traffic going by if your roommate has a lot of visitors. But more importantly, bad light. Bad light = bad photos, & I didn't want bad photos. I didn't want to wake up in the dark. I wanted sunlight, I wanted happy, I wanted a view. The nurse checked my assignment, said that I was booked in the bed next to the door, but said that there was one remaining bed next to a window in a different room. They talked, & decided that they would switch me. Phew.

I was wheeled into my room around 1:30am. I was checked, Quinn was checked, & we said goodnight to Mike (no overnight visitors at NYC hospitals, either) - all with quiet whispers, knowing that I wasn't alone, & that it was late. And then - I heard my roommate. Her curtain was drawn, & we hadn't said hello, but when everyone had left, her baby was whimpering, the mumbling began & I quickly became acquainted with what I'd be dealing with. Insert vulgur language & a really, really loud voice at random, & you'll probably be spot on with this woman. To her son (i.e. to me):

If people weren't so loud around here, maybe we could actually get some sleep. 

Yes, yes. It was definitely my choice to have my baby later in the evening, & how rude of me to have my blood pressure checked. My apologies for the disturbance. However, I could immediately tell by the tone in her voice that it would be a good decision to just be very quiet, & not say anything. I bit my tongue, for fear that she would climb through the curtain & cut me.

At 6:58am, after little Q was as quiet as a mouse all night long, & after I feared for the life of my child only hours after his birth, I sent a few friends + Mike the following email:

Subject: I can't sleep, so I'll you stories instead

Like how my roommate calls her baby boy "sexy".

Or how he screams pretty much every 5 minutes & she solves this by telling him to shut up.

Or how if I move my bed, she yells & blames me for waking him up (Q has made approximately 3 very cute little peeps since our arrival to the room 6 hours ago).

Or how I went to the bathroom (by myself!! So proud) & came out to find her holding my child!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!

And then! Complained about him being so big & heavy (6 lbs?? Her child is almost 8).

Heaven help me. She goes home today (so says my nice nurse). I'm counting down the hours.

Other gems: telling her son that he was a selfish, selfish baby & that The world doesn't revolve around you!! Or that he was Just like [his] father! Or that she couldn't wait to get him home so that she could put him in her room & shut the door. Or smack him (!!). Or how he already ate & should shut up because she wasn't going to feed him again. Or about how she couldn't eat because he was such a pain & required so much attention. Or about how he was such a terrible baby & obviously didn't understand what she had to go through. The list just continued & continued, with everything out of her mouth being equally disgusting & shocking. I was amazed by this woman's inability to filter anything, given that she had a roommate lying in a bed 6 feet away. Clearly though, she did not care. She yelled at her sweet little baby all night long, spewing words that should never be spoken to an infant, a child, or let alone another human being in the first place. It was heartbreaking to listen to as I sat there with my brand new Q, a little boy who I already loved so very much. 

Now, in the bleary hours of the early morning after an already exhausting night, I didn't do what I should have done. I should have called a nurse when I had to go to the bathroom. I should have had someone come & sit with my sleeping child, but I couldn't have even fathomed that anything would happen. And, I had two bags of IV fluid sitting in my bladder. When I walked out of the bathroom & to my far side of the room to find a very large, very loud, very scary & clearly very mean + obviously-abusive-to-her-child woman holding MY child, I was stunned. 

What are you doing? 

He couldn't breathe. 

What do you mean he couldn't breathe? 

He was choking. I had to pick him up. 

Quinn was sound asleep when I went into the bathroom, & sound asleep until shortly before I walked out. He was screaming when she was holding him, but showed no signs of having spit up. I can't imagine that he'd had any problems, & she certainly hadn't called a nurse for help.

I told her to give him to me, & she did - while telling me how big & heavy he was (?!). She grumbled, & went back through her drawn curtains & into her bed. 

I rocked my little boy back to sleep, confused about what had just happened. The next time I had to use the bathroom, I called a nurse. 

My doctor stopped by the following morning & I told her the story of my crazy roommate. She was shocked. Absolutely horrified, & terrified on my behalf. She immediately left my room & told whoever needed to be told. Apparently, nurses had already spread the word that this woman's child was at risk, & social workers showed up within a few hours (that didn't go over very well this woman, & they didn't get very far with her - it was sad how little they could really do).

Later, I learned from my kind nurses that they had hesitated putting me in this room in the first place, knowing that this woman was so difficult (she'd already yelled at nurses in addition to her child). But, they knew the benefit of the window & knew that this woman was being discharged the following day,  so they went ahead & assigned me to that bed, but with hesitation. My story quickly spread throughout the nurses & I was rewarded for my trials after she finally checked out mid-day on Friday. The nurses linked arms, protected my room, & put all of the other patients in other rooms for the rest of my stay, keeping me in the room by myself so that I could finally enjoy some peace & quiet. Bless them for this. I will forever love these women.

(It may have also had something to do with the fact that Mike's boss + secretary had planned a surprise "shower" for him that day at work, & had brought the gifts + giant cake to the hospital instead. We gave the cake - which served 60 - to the nurses, & it was a delicious cake, with fudge filling! People thanked us for the rest of the weekend.)

The rest of Day 2 proved to be far less stressful. My mom sent beautiful flowers that were so bright & happy. Mike's parents stopped by. Friends came to visit. Quinn was calm & happy. No one tried to abduct him. 

Mike asked me if he thought that we should spring for the nightly fee of a private room our next go-around. My response: Absolutely. He agreed.

Photos (I love my early morning shots of Q before Mike had arrived, his first view outside our window, & the photos that Kelsey took for us, even if I'm still wearing makeup from 24+ hours before).

















13 comments:

Unknown said...

you weren't kidding-- crazy! (no photos of the roommate?)

I think that first trip to the bathroom is so scary (and such a process). but your story makes it so much worse.

baby Q has the sweetest face. I really like the photos of him.

Julia said...

Um, I'm pretty sure we had the same roommate. I'm serious. She had the tv on all night, but that didn't really matter since she literally cried all night long. In-between moaning sobs, she would cry that she needed a cigarette, and she kept telling her baby "it hurts so f-ing bad-- it hurts." After one night of her, I was begging my doctor to just let me go home. She was a saint and discharged me 16 hours after giving birth. Next kid we are springing for the private room for sure!

laurel said...

Wow. I am so very sorry that this happened to you. It's hard enough to have a baby, recover in a shared room without your husband, figure out all the nursing and new baby stuff, pee, find more ice packs, etc without having a crazy scary roommate. I am horrified. And so sad for that baby.

So glad you've had your mom around and a relaxing 8 days at home. Enjoy the cuddling. And yes, that milk coming in thing is painful. Sorry no one warned you!!

Kera said...

Sharing a room with ANYONE at that time right after birth sounds horrid let alone a crazy person. That was heartbreaking to read, her poor baby. You wonder what type of mother and life that lady had. So sad.

I loved all of these pictures. Q is such a handsome little guy.

Jan said...

Well documented Kathryn - Love the pictures too. That woman should not have been allowed to take her little son home. It's absolutely frightening!

Missy said...

I'm sick thinking of her little boy right now. Those are terrible things to even read, let alone hear especially after that high you get after labor + delivery and love, loving your new baby.

Definitely get your own room next time! Then can the husband sleep over? I wouldn't have managed very well either time without Devin right there. Wow.

So glad Q was safe. Way to get those mama instincts working asap.

Heidi said...

Oh my heart hurts for that other baby boy!! So so much.

molly said...

some people should not be allowed to procreate. honestly!
Baby Q is precious and I love all your details :) Glad you survived the crazy you had to bunk with. enjoy every wrinkle, every sweet smell, every cuddle. Quinn is just the sweetest looking babe.

Mary Elizabeth Liberty said...

can not believe the roomy situation. THere are plenty of crazy people in NY, but I wouldn't want to be sleeping in the same room with them, with a brand new baby. AHHHH!!! Can't believe this happened to you guys!

Jennifer said...

Oh man. What is with the crazy women having children? I had a crazy roommate with Caleb--she tried to have her baby at home, but it didn't work. She was convinced it was because she had pooped earlier in the day and her "hole" wasn't able to fully open. Seriously.

Anyway! So glad you were able to enjoy some peace and quiet after she left!

caitlin and brinton said...

What the...?? That is TERRIBLE. Poor thing(s). You and that mom's baby both. Quinn is absolutely beautiful - congratulations.

Jill said...

I'm still shocked and shaking my head at this. A friend here in Champaing was saying, 'I can't remember if I had a roommate..." My reply "You would remember if you did."

Jill said...

p.s. those wrinkly little feet!! love.