(Always in his mouth. Or clasped in front. We think it's precious - of course.)
I've been doing that a lot lately. Making complaints, & offering no solutions.
Like an email I sent to a few friends yesterday, not wanting any sympathy. Just wanting to complain. About things like friends living simply too far away (contracts should have been signed prohibiting this). Or how my hair is falling out. In big, huge fist-fulls! It's not pretty, & I'm thinking my scheduled hair cut for this weekend may just be unnecessary (thank you, nursing). Or how my body - post-pregnancy - is just kind of a disaster & changing so drastically week by week that I can't seem to keep up. Everything I own is too big, too small, or just really ill-fitting. I'd like to give a giant hug to whoever invented leggings.
Anyway. Complaints. No solutions.
And then - I feel like a bad blogger as of late. Bad at truly documenting. Bad at keeping up. I guess that I feel a bit apathetic about it. I kind of feel unable to keep up in real time (& if not in real time then what's the point?). And I kind of feel tired. But I'm still complaining about being a bad blogger because there are things I haven't properly noted:
- Our trip to Utah
- Our
onetwo week trip to Portland (Christmas! Oops, it's basically almost Valentine's Day) - 2010 in review (a must for anyone who claims to be a blogger, of course)
- Blah, blah, blah
See. Big things! Important things (relatively speaking).
Every so often, I go through this phase though. I get stuck. I can't figure out what to say, so I don't say anything at all. Or, I get this massive feeling of overexposure on the internet (which, I remind you, is a great, big, scary place) & so I purge my Facebook friend list, retreat back & ask Mike 76 times in one afternoon if we should put a lock on the blog. Because anyone who wants to know about my life or our little boy should have actual conversations with me, right? At the very least, email me on occasion. Otherwise, it's just spying! Right (maybe, or maybe not)?! And then I start these completely circular rantings about real friendship (& the absurdity of one-way communication & how people think they know me because they read what I filter & choose to post on the internet), & justice, & creativity, & privacy, & keeping-up-with-the-whoevers, & the quirks of Mormon culture as evident on the www, & I want to crawl into a little non-blogging cave for a little bit, & it just gets to be a bit ridiculous.
And then mostly, a few days later, I feel better.
So, I'm just complaining. Thinking out loud. No solutions! Except that maybe I'll try a little harder to at least continue to post those things that matter (relatively speaking). Like the really amazing (faux) fur coat that Ellie got for Christmas. Or the overwhelming list of contents in my diaper bag. Or the tops of Q's feet that are so chubby that I fear they might explode. Seriously! They're so, so very fat. It's amazing.
9 comments:
If you want to feel like a good blogger, just take a look at my blog. I haven't written a real blog post since, oh, June. Okay, I know that that probably won't actually make you feel better. I've finally come to the conclusion that it's simply not worth my time to stress out about blogging. I'll get better about it eventually and until then, I'm not going to worry. Yeah, sometimes I tell myself that it's absolutely necessary that everything be documented in real time, but at the end of the day, that's not true. Ten years from now, I won't care about whether I documented something the day that it happened or weeks (or maybe months) later. I'll just be grateful that I did it at all.
I feel like I'm just rambling here. Basically what I'm trying to say is that no, you are not a bad blogger. Stop being so hard on yourself! You're a normal person who sometimes gets a little behind and that is perfectly fine.
You are a wonderful blogger. Life is just not a predictable, even-Steven, one size fits all (or not at all), thing. Reality is a complex, difficult, up and down journey. It helps when we have little feet to adore, and Spring to look forward to. You'll write when you feel like it. Don't feel obligated to do so until then. That's a great lesson to learn right this minute. This is not a race, a contest, or a requirement. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
But, PS, I love it when you do. It's like all the miles between us melt away to hear about you, and M and Q.
PPS How i hate it when hair falls out....in bunches, yet. And then it grows back with such a vengeance - little tiny tufts of it. You're right. Your body isn't quite your own yet....but it will return, and for the record, you look fabulous!
triple heart that picture. those little baby hands! the chub!
private or not, I like when you blog! but, obviously no pressure TO blog. that's no fun.
i like this post because it is typed exactly as i would hear you speak in the flesh and it makes me smile. but basically all of your blogposts are typed like that. so keep blogging about things that matter and also the things that don't matter as much. as q allows, of course.
indie's forehead is chubby. figure that one out.
I'm a total spy of your blog. I love reading it. I love reading about city life because a) I am obsessed with NYC and told Mark just yesterday that if he was ever transferred there that he can take the job without even checking with me, and b) it reminds me of Seattle, which I miss desperately. I also love reading about your mom-stuff because it makes me happy that I'm not the only person who is losing enough hair during one shower to make a wig, and hating my nursing boobs enough to go buy a new bra yesterday (like it will even help). Long story short - I like your blog. Oh, and I think Q is an angel and I love seeing his pictures. There, I'm done.
Figured I would admit my spy status and say that I enjoy your blog very much. I even referred my currently pregnant friend to read it after enjoying your hospital story about labor, delivery, and your "entertaining" roommate.
If you would like to spy on my as well, I welcome that and you can check out my little fam here: www.gooseandtrisser.com
Well, I think you are just fabulous. Reall-one of my all-time favorite people. This phase of mommyhood will pass. You'll be back to your "old" self soon--maybe with a few more things on the to-do list.
Ditto to the other lurkers out there (although that doesn't sound like a nice word!) I just love your blog. It is refreshing and although I don't know you personally, I was in your sister Joanna's ward in D.C. I like your blog because 1) you are so real 2) you have great style and photos and 3) you live in NYC--it is so fun to live vicariously through you.
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