Quite similar, but different.

He's wearing different clothes (jammies). And he's on a different blanket. But they're quite similar to the ones below, right? I mean, the same elements are there - a happy baby on his back, a blanket, natural + bright light. See, part of the issue is that there are only so many options in a 700(ish, & on the smaller side of ish) apartment. And four month old babies don't really have any other positions except on their backs. And of course I have this admittedly somewhat obsessive need to document his every smile & wiggle. But, we're in the apartment most often. And like I said - limited options. Photos might all look the-same-but-different. Oh well.

This staying in the apartment thing, by the way. It's hard. I spent 5 1/2 years running around New York City, & all of a sudden - I'm home. Staring out of my apartment windows at this incredible cityscape, & I'm home. It's like this massive grinding halt of sorts, somewhat akin to what running into a brick wall must feel like. Which isn't to say that I hate being a mother or resent staying home so that my baby can sleep. It's just different, & saying that it's a huge adjustment would be a massive understatement. The feelings that come with new motherhood are prolific - absolute happiness & elation, exhaustion, pride, anxiety, & sometimes - probably due to just not getting out as often - feelings of isolation & loneliness, despite the constant companionship of a new baby.

But, we stay home. Often. Because more important than my entertainment is the health + happiness of my son. And in order for him to be those things, he needs to sleep. And for him to learn to sleep well, we have to be home, often. I'm okay with this. 

There's still a requirement for flexibility though. We have a flexile routine & schedule, & I make sure that Quinn has two (out of three) naps at home, in his crib. And then mostly, we're out the door each day after that. Fresh air for Q, a chance at sanity for me. Yesterday, we went to Rockefeller Center with Kelsey (when I say Rockefeller Center I more-often-than-not mean Anthropologie  - which Mike has figured out). Another day, we might go to Costco, meet a friend for a treat, or just go for a walk. But out. It feels nice, & it's necessary, & it's a phase. 

The quest for a sleeping child continues & it's sort of all-consuming. If I think about what I was prepared for or not prepared for, this falls into the latter category. Despite the dozen or so How to Have a Baby books I read last summer, I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be to be sleep deprived - & to teach a baby how to sleep well. Somehow, 98% of what I read didn't absorb into my brain, & I've  had to re-read everything, luckily with a bit of increased comprehension this time. For my baby - as all babies are different of course - this topic is one in which it serves me well to be well-versed. Because my life as a new mother revolves somewhat around naps (or not-naps) & nighttime sleep. And I've learned very directly how a sleeping baby = a sleeping mama, & a sleeping baby + a sleeping mama makes for happiness all around. There should be college courses on infant sleep. It's complicated, at least for my baby, & takes a lot of effort. He's not a natural sleeper like some babies are, but that's okay. Lessons have been learned & progress has been made. Next time though, I'm starting Baby Wise from week one, & have been loving this blog in the meantime as I try to play catch up.

Naps have more or less been conquered. Next step: getting a full night's rest. Which is why I'm awake at 3:21am & on my laptop with the video monitor next to me, & not dreaming about adjusting the aperture & shutter speed on my camera while taking photos of Quinn (like I was the other night - I suppose it's good practice). 

I think 7/8ths of Quinn's jammies are striped. And, that he looked so much like his dad when I took these yesterday morning.