recap.

There will be no cohesiveness of thought tonight. This is my journal, more or less. I can write what I want, even if it isn't in 5-paragraph essay form. Right?

Friday. I had the longest day of my life, work wise. I think that I did the most amount of {condensed} work that I have ever done in a single day- and all while completely doped up on Benedryl Allergy & Sinus. I loved my job on Friday & was incredibly happy with what I accomplished, but oh my gosh... exhausted. Mike took Friday off to spend the day with Dave in the city, and I crashed shortly after getting home from our dinner together {appropriately enough, at an Argentine restaurant around the corner in recognition of Dave’s approaching mission to South America}.

New Canaan. We went out on Saturday and did the usual errands {Costco, etc}. We watched Bryan's lacrosse game in the afternoon and Mike & I made yummy guacamole to go with our dinner. I think that guacamole is one of my favorite foods. I love it so much that I put it on my hamburger for dinner. I suppose that I love guac burgers, too. We went to church this morning. I like church, but I was hungry today. After naps & dinner, Mike & I took on Dave & Bryan in a heated {literally- it was really humid today} game of badminton. I forgot how much fun badminton is. I wonder if we could fit a net on the beach at the lake. Or maybe we could play water badminton? Either way- badminton is a lot of fun & Mike and I were a good team. We barely lost.

Music. I want to come up with a "10 Best Songs EVER" list. So far I have #1- Forever, by Ben Harper. Okay- that's the only one I have so far. I think that it one of the sweetest love songs ever written. I LOVE love songs. I've loved Ben Harper {I prefer the old to the new} since my brother Patrick started listening to him when he was in high school. I hadn't heard that song for a long time until it came up on Dave's iPod when we were driving out to New Canaan on Saturday. I really love it. I'm still working on #2-#10.

High school. The restaurant we went to Friday night had a very odd play list featuring many of the songs played at my high school dances. Our drive out to New Canaan brought back random memories of high school as well, but for no apparent reason other than everyone in the car just being relatively quiet & not having much else to do. It was odd, since I graduated 6 years ago & have had virtually no contact with people that I spent most of my adolescence with. I thought about dancing to Lady in Red at Homecoming & Prom, and of the few times when I was actually in a red dress and felt so beautiful. I remembered painting faces for football games, and being the #1 fan for basketball with my good friend KJ. I thought about listening to Ben Harper as I was driving down the mountain after skiing with friends. I thought about being with a group of girls who I always considered my closest friends- I remember being distraught because when Cowboy, Take Me Away came on the radio they all sang along at the top of their lungs. I didn't know all the words, and this made me feel far more "out" than "in". I had a lot of friends. I just don't feel like most counted, in hindsight. I stay in touch with only a handful. I remembered huge group dates to the Sadie Hawkins dance, getting my drivers license and buying my first pair of Capri pants {and getting made fun of}. I remember piercing my bellybutton, loving that they guy believed I was 18, but deep down, not being happy with being dishonest with my parents. Sometimes when I think about high school I am filled with regret. I wish that I cared less about certain things & more about others. I wish that I was more cognisant of how I may have hurt people. I'm disappointed that I dropped out of cheerleading tryouts because I was too afraid of not making it. I wish I would have sung in the choir. It still bothers me that my advisor tried to make my loss in the Student Body President elections hurt less by explaining that our school just wasn't ready for a female president. I wish that I would have been more confident in who I was. I wish I would have studied harder, instead of letting it be easy. I wish I would have taken more language courses. I wish. But. High school was a funny time… I really value some of the people I knew & much of what I learned through the entire rollercoaster... I just wish I had better sifted through all that was trivial & held more tightly to those things that mattered. Now- at almost 25… I’m doing fine. I’m happy about where I am. I’m grateful for the good & bad things that got me here. But I think I need to stop caring about whether or not I was a cheerleader.

I’m already tired. It’s not even Monday. I don’t see a lot of rest ahead for the week. I work in Greenwich tomorrow, then Los Angeles Tuesday through Thursday. I get in on the red eye flight Thursday morning, and then have a large event for work in the city Thursday evening. Tara comes in on Friday {can’t wait}. I hope she doesn’t mind sleeping in {just a tiny bit} on Saturday!