Dec 11, 2007

Response to Man Tag

Ben Brutsch "tagged" me like a month ago. I've apparently committed a major blog faux paux in not responding

Question #1: What is your favorite t-shirt that you own?

A companion of mine in the mission was formerly part of a search and rescue team in the Fuerza Aerea Colombiana (Colombian Air Force). He had a t-shirt that bore the insignia of the squad. I coveted it. We eventually agreed to a trade. I think the final price was an entire set of English scriptures. The shirt was about two sizes too small. When I first tried it on I said aloud (in Spanish) "Jeez, I need to work out..." to which my companion, usually encouraging and upbeat, replied "Yeah... you do..." The shirt doesn't make it in to my weekend rotation due to my current pectoral deficiency, but mark my words - one day it will make a glorious return.

Question #2: Who is the most famous person you have shaken hands with?

I can one-up Brutsch in that I've shaken hands with one of the two BYU quarterbacks that actually made something of himself in the NFL (not Jim McMahon. Can you guess?)

A few months ago, while leaving a taping of the Daily Show, I ran in to cynical comic Lewis Black (he performed during the taping). For some reason I shook his hand and said "great set." I'm such a tourist.

As part of an English assignment my freshman year I made up an elaborate story about my friend Mike and I meeting Sean "P. Diddy" Coombs at a Knicks games. The story somehow leaked to my dorm mates and still survives in certain circles as true. (For kicks, I never denied it). Being that perception is 9/10 of reality, I guess in their eyes he'd be the most famous person with whom I've shaken hands.

Question #3: What are the coolest nicknames you have given people?

Throughout high school there was an obese man assigned to monitor the cafeteria and keep students in line. The kids called him "Two-five," which I think was a reference to his weight (meaning he was over 250 pounds, which was an understatement). My friend Matt moved to Utah mid-way through senior year, but for the sake of posterity I submitted his personal profile for the 1999 yearbook (each student was given a normal class picture and a personal space to give "shout outs," "what whats," and what have you). In the title of his personal space I gave him the name "Two Five Jr," an homage to my friend's increasing waistline and sedentary lifestyle. Surprisingly, my friend wasn't offended. To the contrary, he adopted the name as his AOL instant messenger screen name. With the handle TwoFiveJR as his ensign, Matt quickly became the online Casanova of the greater Salt Lake area.

I also called Ben, my senior year roommate, Ben-jammin. It seemed to stick for the year. That's about it.

I think I've only been given one nickname (that I know of) - Whitone, which begat Tone, which begat Tone-low. In high school only seniors were allowed to drive off campus during lunch. Each class had its own color-coded ID cards (freshman that year had yellow, sophomores had red, we juniors had green, seniors had beige). Only beige cards made it off campus. In a unique turn of events, 8th graders occupied the high school basement during my junior year because of construction at the middle school. For one reason or another, the administration gave the 8th graders beige ID cards. My sister was an 8th grader at the time, and in an even more fortuitous turn of events, she was given a card with a typo - her name was spelled "Cara Whitone." They gave her another card without asking that she return the original. Once I caught wind of this oversight, I was all over it. I could practically taste the Big Macs! I overlaid a matte picture, created the "permission" sticker (denoting that my parents had consented to my leaving campus during lunch), and even recreated the star-shaped authenticating hole punch through the permission sticker using a switchblade. I was hardcore. In the end, I had a spot-on match for a senior ID. The first test run was a bit nerve-racking - the "security guard" (another old /overweight / middle-age man) had previously stifled my attempts to sneak off campus. He couldn't quite figure out what was happening... 'hmmm, he has a valid ID, so I guess I have to let him off... gee, I'm stumped." Thus began the orgy of Taco Bell, Burger King, and Wendy's for all. All thanks to Cara Whitone.

Question #4: What is your favorite memory from your undergraduate experience?

I can think of funny situations, awkward moments, all-nighters, and epic Halo games, but the memory that stands out most is meeting my wife.

At the start of junior year I bought football tickets with friends that had moved out of King Hank. They, in turn, purchased tickets for their friends in the same lot. The makings for a good old fashioned Mormon mix-and-mingle was in the making. Enter the wet blanket. The night of the first game I was approached by a girl I had previously spent time with that summer - she had lost her wallet, credit cards, blah blah blah, and 'worst of all, lost her football tickets!' I happened to have an extra ticket and didn't have the marbles to not offer it to her. So began the pity date.

As the game progressed I began settling in to my usual routine of tuning this girl out, when out of nowhere a really cute girl sat next to me. I don't remember who spoke to who first, but she eventually asked "so what's your story?" She was a great conversationalist, very interesting and funny. I was wearing an Abercrombie shirt, she mentioned that she worked there and could get me a discount, which she said was "a good reason to be friends with her." At about that time my pity date chimed in and said "I don't think Abercrobmie's stuff is that cute (saying 'cute' in some ditzy Arizona girl accent, no offense to any Arizona-based readers), I like Hollister better." Kathryn and I looked at eachother, as if to say "why are you / am I hanging out with her?" The rest is history!

I tag any man who reads the blog... no idea who that might be. Matt Miller? Kevin Edwards? Ryan Holdaway? Patrick Hudson?

2 comments:

Jan said...

One of my favorite things in the world is reading a Mike blog...I had a "moment" the other day as I pondered the fact that we hadn't heard from you for awhile. Did my thoughts travel through cyberspace to prick your conscience? In any case...You're the best!

Lula. said...

Mike...very entertaining post. I'm with Jan, your posts are great...and cute story about meeting Kathryn.