Aug 24, 2010

Because I don't have anything to write about except for maybe that I burst into tears not once, but twice last night.



I'm feeling good! Great! Ready! Look at me & my sunny + positive attitude!! Remember that? When was that? Oh! Sunday. That's funny.

I wasn't feeling good yesterday. I was feeling tired. And really uncomfortable. And panicky, because when I get winded just from talking with a friend in B&H about cameras, the lack of oxygen sort of starts to freak me out a little bit. And then when I realized that I have approximately 3,000 pages in my two most important baby books left to read, I get worried that I'm totally unprepared for actual motherhood (& then my eyes start to get leaky). And then when Baby Boy decided to do bicycle kicks into my side + ribs last night (because he refuses to go head-down where he belongs - just head up, or horizontally, which feels about as awesome as it sounds), I finally just lost it - because it really hurt, because I was tired (because I can't sleep), because I couldn't breathe, because I was overwhelmed. So I cried my eyes out for approximately 1 minute until I regained whatever composure I could grasp onto, blew my nose, told Mike I was sorry for being a disaster, & let him go back to sleep (while I tried to go to sleep, period).

I ended up sleeping almost 10 hours last night & now I'm feeling a little bit better, even though I have THE. MOST. BIZARRE. pregnancy dreams, ever. Seriously. I should have been keeping a journal these last bazillion months (because they feel like a bazillion) & then I could have published a book about THE. MOST. BIZARRE. DREAMS. EVER. that would have made so much money. And then we could have had enough money to afford a nursery for Baby Boy that had enough room for a rocking chair & a trampoline (?) & a jungle gym & a petting zoo & maybe even one of those massive plastic bouncy things that I'll probably forever refuse to buy. Anyway. Last night's dream was mild, but involved Mike deciding that part of his role in Elder's Quorum was to fellowship all of the young & pretty single women in our ward by taking them on dates every Sunday night, including Valentine's Day. I was in hysterics (in dreamland) telling him that this wasn't really what his responsibilities included, but he disagreed.

Strange.

Anyway. Like I said. Feeling better.

The photo! We have a new place by us called Simply Peeled. It's delicious, & it makes me happy, which means I'm probably going to go get some today. Maybe even alone! Three ingredients at the base - fruit, filtered water & cane sugar. It's like a happier, more delicious version of Pinkberry. No mystery ingredients, no dairy, nothing processed. Just frozen-ish fruit that ends up sort of like yogurt (although don't call it that - they get angry), sort of like ice cream. And then, you get to dump whatever you want on it, although the majority of their options are fruit. My favorite is banana yogurt with strawberries & a tiny bit of chocolate sauce. 78th & 3rd. It's amazing.

5 comments:

Heidi said...

I don't know if Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is one of your must reads ( I have a feeling it is though), but if it is, don't feel like you need to read the whole thing! I only read the intro and then the chapter in newborn sleep before I had Max. And then as Max grew I would read the chapter on sleep from 4-8 months (or whatever the divisions are), and so on. Maybe that helps make it seem less overwhelming. The entire second half of that book I have hardly evevn looked at (I haven't had the need to read about 4 year old sleep patterns yet, or 12 year old, etc).

erin said...

you need to get your mind off things. see, going to dc for me was such a treat because it was a great getaway to forget about reality for a second and clear my head. weren't you guys going to providence? wanna come to dallas with me to find an apartment (don't tell dr. t)??

take those books and lock them away for a while. and then only read them sparingly, because truthfully, they will drive you to drink with all their tips and advice. when b-dub decides to show up and relieve you of your extreme discomfort (walking around a few days after labor will feel revolutionary, i assure you), do what works for you. you can only prepare so much.

you are ready, you are capable, you are smart, you are strong, and i miss you. i trust you with my children implicity. now go eat something.

erin said...

nerd alert: *implicitly

Jennifer said...

It will end. I promise. You are almost there. Keep eating.

Jan said...

Hooray for wonderful,wise friends!