Naked babies make everything better.

I'm kind of an emotional wreck. Well, maybe mostly an emotional wreck, & by mostly, I mean I'm keeping things together the majority of the time. I mean, I hadn't cried in probably a week until yesterday, when sweet friend Noelle gave me a beautiful book full of Central Park photos. A lovely gift! So sweet & thoughtful. I'm sure that the photos are beautiful, but every time I try to look at it, everything gets blurry & my eyes start leaking. This deep-seeded homesickness just overtook me, & I haven't been able to shake it. It was exacerbated this morning when I had my very first encounter with a cockroach (besides on the sidewalk in NYC). The little monster was the size of a lobster dinner & probably as smart as your average kindergartener. I screamed my heart out, briefly considered abandoning my first born to fend for himself, tried to catch it with a glass bowl (fail), & finally ran to the closet for my Dyson. I grabbed the hose, & pointed it at him. He stared me at me directly in the eyes, turned & sprinted in the opposite direction. My vacuum was too much for him though, & I was victorious. I was heart-beating-out-of-my-chest-terrified, Quinn was screaming, & we were all just kind of a mess (including the now-dead cockroach, in my vacuum filter). It was honestly the biggest act of bravery in my short life, & I was shaky for a solid half-hour. Did I mention it was huge? HUGE. In my beautiful, clean kitchen! I almost bought a plane ticket back to New York, where for the record, we never had a roach or a rodent in 6+ years. 

But really - this homesickness - it hit me fully while out this afternoon, at the grocery store naturally. Because who doesn't have complete emotional breakdowns next to the vegetables? HEB is basically bigger than your average Costco, & I couldn't find anything (but did find 2,462 varieties of BBQ sauce). And no one knew what pancetta was (excuse me?!), I had just murdered my very first + serious pest & I was tired. So I did what normal people do. Vegetables. Tears. Sigh.

I feel a little bit better now, especially since our internet & cable were finally set up today (three cheers!), our security system was installed this afternoon, the bug guys are scheduled to come tomorrow & un-invite all of the little monster's friends & family from ever coming into my home again, & my sweet husband is finally home after being away all week (I decided to be a good wife & cook him dinner for the first time in what feels like weeks - Kelsey's Tortellini with Lemon & Dill was amazing, of course).

I keep saying this week that I have real problems. You know, like what rug should I order for my living room, & what kind of window treatments I should do in Q's nursery. There are obviously bigger problems in the world & I'm trying to keep everything in perspective. I'm grateful for all of the positive things around me right now. Pretty neighborhood, pretty house, nice people, a washer & dryer, a garbage disposal, Chick-fil-A... The list goes on & on. Still. I just miss my life. I miss wandering my neighborhood & going for walks, I miss my friends being so close, I miss ordering in, I miss seeing all sorts of crazy & random people everywhere I go, I miss my tiny little apartment, I miss the nice Vietnamese ladies across the street who painted my toes & made my eyebrows look pretty, I miss our ward, I miss Central Park, I miss the food, I miss the vibrance of the city. 

I will be fine. Change is so, so very far from being comfortable or easy, but I will. Because I have good friends & family who I get to talk with on the phone often, a good husband who works hard & is kind, & a baby who is super cute when he's naked in the bathtub. That alone makes so many things better.