Vegas! And some unexplainable numbness.

Almost immediately after moving to The Great State of Texas, I went numb.

Literally. Like, I'd wake up in the middle of the night & my fingers would be tingly. And then in the morning, my hands would be so stiff that I couldn't make a fist. I thought that maybe it was because of the heat & humidity, but I'm from New York, & our summers there aren't exactly mild. And then the numbness started moving up my arms, & one night (while Mike was traveling), I really almost called 911 because I thought I was having a stroke. It's a scary thing to not feel normal.

Enter a trip to the doctor, a referral to a neurologist, & really fantastic test that felt like being electrocuted for 40 minutes. He finished off with an additional test that included stabbing my arms with various needles & then shooting an electrical current into said needles & into my muscles. When I left he said You're a little bloody, but you're good to go! Excellent bedside manner, Dr. Neurologist.

(Kind of like when I had my blood drawn the other week & the phlebotomist said, I hope you're not driving home alone, because I took all of your blood! Thank you [& then I drove myself home])

This is where I start getting calls from people I haven't talked to in weeks, just to see how I'm doing, just because!

The sort-of end result here is that I'm (mostly) fine (another appointment tomorrow). All of my fears of how to mother my child without my left arm are more-or-less laid to rest. My tests came back almost 100% fine. There's nothing wrong with my brain (except maybe just a bit of crazy), there's nothing wrong with my nervous system, & my blood vessels all look totally normal.

*******

I had the happiest time in Las Vegas! I basically laughed, shopped, & ate nonstop with a few of my nearest & dearest from Friday morning until Sunday night. We didn't see any shows like we had planned, we didn't touch a swimming pool, & none of us got the extra sleep that we probably desperately needed, but it was a perfect few days. I so, so needed it. I needed a break from my sweet little boy, but I also just needed to be with those girls who know & understand me so well. We had so. much. fun. So much fun. Everything was right in the world!

I woke up the 2nd morning that we were there & wiggled my fingers & felt my arms. I felt fine. Fine. I felt normal. I haven't had any strong symptoms since.

Flying home gave me a sad feeling in my tummy. When I first got to the airport, I spent a solid 45 seconds looking for my gate on the departures board, only to realize that I was looking for New York (JFK). This was the first trip flying home to Houston, & it just felt like my airplane was going in the wrong direction. The first night that I was back, I woke up at 3am & said, Mike! Loneliness made me numb. It's the only thing that I can come up with. The shock of moving, the anxiety, missing my city, missing my friends, & the loneliness that I've felt. Maybe that explains it all? I think so.

(If anyone has an extra stash of Xanax, maybe send it my way??)

So! I'm home. I'm still learning to love it here, but I know I will - & in the meantime, we are busy (per usual) which generally keeps total emotional breakdowns at bay. I was checking out at the grocery store this morning & asked the cashier how she was doing. She quickly responded with I am so blessed, darling! How are you?

I am too! I feel lucky, & super grateful. Even if we don't live on a friend compound (yet) or get to see each other as often as I'd hope, I have the greatest friends. Miracle friends that cure bizarre psychosomatic problems.

(I took approximately 17 photos the entire trip. We were too busy trying on every single piece of clothing in Las Vegas or eating at Hash House a Go Go.)